My precious Quinn is 5 months old today. I was absolutely terrified of leaving the hospital to come home with him. Since Quinn was born at 12:57 am, we had the choice of staying an "extra" day, but decided to come home after a day and a half. I'm sad that I have only bad memories of his homecoming. We could barely wake him for his feedings and I had no idea what I was doing as far as nursing was concerned. I should have seen my lactation specialist long before Quinn was two weeks old! God bless her! By the time we got Quinn awake, fed him, burped him, changed him, and got back to sleep, it was time to wake him up again! Even though I thought this schedule seemed extreme, I followed it and assumed Quinn would be fine- because the HOSPITAL recommended it. I never knew I could be beyond exhausted. I was a zombie and miserable. Add in the flood of hormones leaving my body and I thought I was going to have a nervous breakdown trying to care for a tiny human being. I remember calling the on-call nurse one night because Quinn was almost lifeless. He was so cold and we had been trying to wake him up to feed for what seemed like an eternity. I was hysterical. She was so unhelpful and made me feel like I was overreacting. The next day we went in to see Dr. Suell and he sent us to the ER. Quinn was admitted to the hospital for 3 days. For the second time, my instincts told me something wasn't right. Since that day, I continue to listen to my mommy instincts FIRST. And THEN take everything else into consideration. While I can't believe Q is growing up so quickly, I am glad those first weeks are over. My friends kept telling me, "It gets better. Give it a few months." And I would think, "A few months? I won't make it that long!" Fast forward to today. I made it! Although I still struggle with staying at home to raise a child, I can not imagine my life without Quinn. He is such a joy and a true blessing from God.